


All I Want For Christmas Is A Little Less Embarrassment In My Life

by Tiny_Dragongirl



Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Fantastic Four, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 10:52:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiny_Dragongirl/pseuds/Tiny_Dragongirl
Summary: Peter asks his friend, Johnny Storm to pose as his fake date for the office Christmas party. He might or might not have a crush on said friend. Tony and Steve might or might not find that hilarious.Embarrassment and mistletoes, assemble!





	All I Want For Christmas Is A Little Less Embarrassment In My Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captainmistyknight (ayna222)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayna222/gifts).



> MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I love my job. I must state this, because despite the infamous Parker Luck (trademarked!) I miraculously ended up at Stark Industries, and it’s the best workplace in the world! We’re designing techs to make people’s life better. Right now we’re working on this extremely innovative medical equipment which helps to reduce the risks of open-heart surgery… But I might have gotten a bit carried away. Sorry. My point being: best job in the world with a super cool boss. (Yay, Tony Stark!)

However, there’s one thing I hate about my work: the obligatory office Christmas party.

So when Tony announced the date of this year’s party (6pm on 21 December), I wanted to crawl under my desk and not emerge before 2020. Yeah, about that… I might have actually tried to hide under my desk - I have no other explanation how could the gleefully dangling legs of my boss appear in front of my face as I was making some calculations on my phone.

I peaked out from under the desk. “Oh, hey, boss,” I tried to play it cool.

“Hi, Pete. Are you working from your bunker today?”

“I thought a change of view might do some good. Help me get more… er… more creative.” I made a move to squirm out of my hiding place. It was a quite inelegant operation with my long limbs. I don’t know how other people manage legs - my legs seem to be always at the wrong place. Tony took pity on me, and offered a helping hand. I ascended from the darkness with glasses askew. “How can I help you?”

“Steve and I were wondering if you were planning to bring a date for the party.”

Reason number one I hate office Christmas parties: the matchmaking shenanigans of Tony and Steve. As I said, my boss is super cool and I’m on very good terms with him and his amazing husband (that’s Steve). They have one weakness, though. They show an inexplicable interest in my love-life. I don’t understand how can someone be so drawn to something completely non-existent. Just picture this: at last year’s party they brought a pole with a bunch of mistletoe on its end, and took turns in trying to hang it over my head from the gallery. That was one exhausting Christmas party.

I think it’s understandable I slightly panicked when Tony brought up the topic.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I’m bringing someone,” I puffed out my chest. It wasn’t exactly a lie. I could have invited Aunt May, for example. “A special someone, actually.”

“A date?” Tony’s eyes twinkled.

“A date,” I nodded, sealing my fate.

“Well, can’t wait to meet this special someone.”

Boss clapped me on the shoulder and left me to sink in the hot soup of trouble I got myself into.

It was mistake number one. Mistake number two was to call Johnny in my rising panic.

“ _Hello, this is the ministry of causeless optimism._ ”

“Very funny, Johnny,” I grumbled, but still, I couldn’t help the feeling of joy that gripped my heart whenever I heard his voice. Cheesy much? See, if you can’t stomach my butterflies of happiness, you seriously need a bunch of new friends in your life. “Are you free on the 21st?”

“ _Why? Are you asking me on a date?_ ”

“What?” I sputtered. “No!”

“ _Tough luck._ ”

I could almost see his mock-pout.

“I mean, yes. Sorta. Will you be my fake date?” There. I said it. “You, me, awful office Christmas party. I might have said I would bring… someone. As a date. To the office. For the party.”

“ _Yeah, sure thing._ ”

“Thanks, hothead. I’m forever in your debt.”

“ _Bet you are._ ” Even when I couldn’t see it, I found his mischievous grin hot. “ _Lunch tomorrow?_ ”

“Of course. Tuesday, lunch day. I’ll bring the sandwiches!”

 

I managed not to think about the whole ordeal until the very day of the party. I even tried to stall for time, hiding behind my computer as long as possible, but Tony appeared way too soon. He dragged my reluctant backside into the common room, where a smiling Steve was waiting for us with four glasses of wine. I waved at him. Despite all the whining, I was happy to see his stupid, beaming face and his stupid Christmas sweater.

“I hope your special one likes red wine,” he winked at me as he handed out the drinks. “It’s good to see you, kid.” He enveloped me into a tight hug.

“Careful, honey, sneakiness could be infectious, and this boy’s sneaky as hell,” Tony said, his eyes fixed on the entrance. “Kid, you never told me you finally caught that fish in your net.”

I followed his gaze and in a second I understood why was he so surprised. Tony was looking at Johnny who had just stepped in the room - in fact, it felt for a moment everyone was looking at him. He was certainly worth a look. I mean, he always is. But only Johnny Storm could look so hot and suave in a simple grey waistcoat and white shirt.

“Is that…?”

“Yes,” Tony nodded with an ear-to-ear grin on his face.

“No!” Steve gaped.

“Yes!”

“I should greet him,” I interjected and quickly left them. I didn’t think it’d be a great idea to bungee-jump into introducing Johnny to my favorite married couple before we could set the basics for our fake relationship.

“Give him a big kiss on the mouth!” they shouted after me. See?

I have a confession: I’m afraid I’ve developed a crush on my friend (big move, Parker) AND I might have slipped in a weak moment of mine and told my boss and his husband about this crush. They just couldn’t get why this picture perfect fairy-tale romance would never work out in reality. But then here I stood, all by my glasses-wearing, nerd self, posing as hothead, hot-looking Johnny Storm’s boyfriend. I could have stabbed a candy cane into my eye for being such an idiot. I had some stupid ideas in the past but honestly, this rocked my boat really hard.

“Hey!”

Before I could have reached a decision concerning the appropriate greeting in the current situation, Johnny leapt into action and hugged me.

“Thanks for coming,” I whispered into his ear. I felt grateful. And very safe. And a bit hot.

“This all feels a bit illegal,” he grinned, leaning back a bit but keeping his arms around me. “It’s kind of exhilarating.”

I let out a nervous little laugh. “Yeah, well, thanks for being my illegal boyfriend for the night.”

“Congrats on your dads. You failed to mention that your boss had adopted you at some point.” Johnny nodded towards Tony and Steve, who pretended that they weren’t watching us.

“What? No, they are not…” I wanted to protest but he didn’t let me finish:

“Oh, yes, they are. Your self-appointed dads.” He let me go with one hand but kept an arm around my waist. “Should we go and show them what a pretty couple I make with their son?” he asked, pulling out the oh in _son_.

“Bite your tongue, hothead!” I hissed.

At the same time I wanted to tear myself from his arm and never let go of him. But mostly, I just wanted to cry. In that moment I thought this was the closest I ever got to him, and it made my heart flutter with joy, embarrassment, and clench with pain. As I was swimming in my state of misery, I failed to notice that Johnny was talking to me. He had to poke me between my ribs.

“Ouch!”

“Peter? Are you with me?”

“Yes! No? What… I mean, I was listening… You were saying… You were just saying that… I’m sorry, what were you saying? I might have dazed out a bit.”

“Yeah, I noticed that.” A small and way too sexy smile played on his lips. “Your problem is that you can’t stop running your mouth. I should do something about that.”

I blinked.

“Do I have to drag you under a mistletoe or can I kiss you right here, right now?”

I opened my mouth to say something smart… then closed it.

“Peter, did you believe I would pose as your fake boyfriend when I could be your date for real? For better, for worse?” He looked serious. He sounded serious. “Only if you want to.”

I gulped. “Was I a really good boy this year that I get you as a Christmas present?”

Johnny laughed, then did the most logical thing to shut my stupid mouth: kissed me. Not like a fake boyfriend but with a proper, sweet, burning-hot kiss.

 

Conclusion?

I should re-trademark the famous Parker Luck as a positive phenomenon. Because that night, all thanks to Johnny Storm and his marvellous kissing technique (and maybe some thanks to the annoying custom of Christmas parties), I became Peter “Luckiest Guy In The World” Parker.

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by [flannelgiraffe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelgiraffe/pseuds/flannelgiraffe)  
> Thank you!


End file.
